Here's a recipe for you people who don't feel like cooking a GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS HAM for lunch. It's done me well, and I'm sure you won't get ulcers either, even if you try it! Well, here we goes:

Preparation time: Varies from 29 seconds to 8 years.

Ingredients:

Salad Bowl
Those big-ass spoon things they use in salad
Lettuce (or spinach, if you are Popeye or Popeye-related)
Anything
Blender?

Directions:

Mix the Salad Bowl, the lettuce, and the spoons together for several minutes. When completed, you should have a bowl of lettuce with two spoon-things in it. If you instead have a pile of lettuce on the floor and a small child with the spoons impaled into his eyes, discountinue use of anything pointy.

Take the bowl of lettuce and add the anything to it. Incase the anything is too large for your bowl, insert your own hand into the blender, as punishment for your insolence.

Microwave for several hours, if needed. You can also add a little salt or something, for flavour. Enjoy!

Return to Humours