Okay, this one is for the men out there who love meat. And by meat, I mean the meatiest of meat; not that processed crap. Naw, I'm talking like live cows and muated pigs that grow limbs made of bacon. Onwards!
Preparation Time: 40 of them
Recovery time: 40 more of them. (if you're lucky)

Ingredients:

meat
a hammer
a hammer-proof pan
a picture of Chef Boyardee
a bread
seasonings (you know, like oregano or oatmeal)
heat source (ex. stove, barbeque, the sun)
more meat

Firstly, put the meat and the more meat in your pan. Then, hammer the meat for half an hour. If the meat has acheived a texture like that of mashed potatoes, you have succeeded in doing this step. If not, you will be punished by having to eat all of the meat.

For those that succeeded (and those who didn't die from eating all of that uncooked meat), now is the fun part. Mold the "meat" into a loaf. You can use a bread as a model, as most breads come in loaves. Once your pile of gellatinous meat has acheived a loaf-like form, it is ready for the seasonings.

For those who are incompetent, a seasoning is just a food that is too small to eat on its own. Things like pepper, oregano, or red blood cells are good examples, but find your own seasonings to truly customize your dish. Once the meat is completely covered in seasonings, throw it in the oven (or whatever heat source you've acquired).

Set up your picture of Chef Boyardee so it is facing the meat as it cooks. This way you don't have to worry about it burning, because it is a proven fact that nothing bad can happen in the presence of Chef Boyardee.

Return to your meat whenever you want, and voila! Perfect meatloaf!

Serves four.

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