We've all been in this situation before. It's 11:55pm, the night before the big project is due. The boss has really been riding your ass lately; if you don't get the job done, it might be your job on the line. Or your life. If you don't come home with the big paycheck and the KFC, your 3 children/wives/fish will go hungry again, and you can't stand to hear them spend another night crying (or whatever the fish equivalent of crying is). But oh no! The image of a steak that the whole project is riding on has mysteriously dissapeared, perhaps stolen by data-bandits or cyberburglars! All you have is a picture of a ham. What will you do?


Apparently google thinks that goo-balls dancing on a laptop is clipart of "Frustration." What the hell.

Luckily enough for you, you have the official IMLAW HTML TUTORIAL SERIES to help you. Using the power of HTML (the special "code" that is used to make all sorts of things, like the internet and youtube), we can turn this predicament into a preposterously large sum of money and a trophy. This is of course assuming that your workplace hands out trophies and cash prizes for genius.

First, we have our ham.



This is clearly not a steak. Even old people, what with their terrible vision and complete lack of mental stability would tell you that, given enough time. But using some codes, we can fancy this up into a steak so convincing that even a steak-somelier* like myself couldn't tell the difference.

We have to first display the image through the html. You can do this with the code

<img src="location of image">

If you are thinking of putting "inside the computer" or "on the screen" in the "location of image" part, feel free to close this tutorial and buy a computer with a trackwheel because you are obviously from the 80s. Now, we simply add some modifying code in there. It turns out that in this case, adding "height=80 width=768" is the key here. Copy and paste that in and ta daa! You done it!


Lookit that steak! Mmmmmm! Way better than a yucky ham.

Try it with any meat! By finding the right numbers, you can use this method to turn any meat into any other meat, all it takes is practice. Sooner or later, you'll be a HTML master. I know it.

* Note to Self: Actually become the first Steak-Somelier.

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